It was the summer of 1998. I was only a few weeks out of school, summer vacation was in its infancy. This was an important summer vacation too. It was the summer vacation between the critical grades of 6 and 7, when you go from elementary school to the all important, seemingly grown up world of junior high. Further, I was going from a small school to a big school. As a country kid, I was bracing for the “city school.” It all seemed daunting. I tried to ignored it all and focus on what was directly in front of me, preparing for my twelfth birthday which was just a few days away, June 14th.
Something was definitely wrong
If you’ve ever suffered from a migraine, then you know headache pain. However, as a 12 year old boy with an insatiable amount of energy normally, that summer of 1998 headache pain was a drop in the bucket. That summer I experienced fatigue that would awe the Grimm brothers.
I would have spells where I would sleep for more than 24 hour periods only to wake in an effort to relieve the headache torture. Once the nausea set in it all became just too strange.
My family physician was stumped. He decided to order a CT scan of my head to try to identify the cause, but a week before the scan my symptoms seemed to subside. The CT scan was cancelled. My family was relieved. My energy was back and I seemed to be doing fine.
Suddenly, like a switch flipped, everything went terribly wrong.
I was riding in the car one day at the end of June with my mom. The nausea came back like a gut punch caught off guard. There was no hope of pulling over and getting out of the car in time. My poor mother. The headaches came back too. Those weren’t the only two symptoms. This time, my left eye went blood shot and my vision blurred. My mother, a nurse, knew something was wrong. The CT scan was back on the schedule and summer was charging forward despite the horrific pain I was in. I cried myself to sleep.
The words a mother never wants to hear (or a 12 year old for that matter)
July 6th came and so did the CT scan. I was in and out in relatively short order. I made the brief walk to my older sister’s house to hang out for a bit, I had plans to spend time with friends later.
Simultaneously, as I was walking home, my doctor was having a conversation with my mother.
They both worked at the same clinic and my mom would later recount the conversation to me. It went something like this:
“Naomi, we got Ryan’s scan results back. There’s something there that’s definitely not suppose to be there. We need to get him into surgery as soon as possible.”
I, however was still blissfully unaware, for now.
In a few moments my entire family would be descending upon by sister’s home and my life would begin a trajectory I never imagined. One that continues today . . .
The premise of this blog
More people are surviving cancer than anytime in history. It’s amazing. I often say that it was a bittersweet blessing for me. My experience and battle with cancer shaped so much of my life and who I am today.
I’ll share my ongoing story with you here as well as continue my cancer battle story under the category “ryan’s story”. However, what I really want this blog to be is a beacon for life after cancer. There’s a community of us survivors out here who are figuring out what it means to be a long term survivor. We can provide support to those battling cancer today. We need the medical community to understand that we have different needs and anxieties from other patients. Life after cancer 5 years, 10 years, 15 years, 20 years and so on provides a host of challenges and taking into account the various stages of life and social implications it all become a complex world to navigate. But we’re not alone. That’s why I’m documenting my story. I’ll tell you more in my next post.
Ryan, this is such a wonderful thing you are doing. You have always been such an amazing, strong, loving person with so much compassion for others.
Thanks so much for your kind words Katie! I hope others who are in their battle find hope in my story and I also hope to bring some awareness to the issues that linger after cancer.
As a mom myself, I can’t imagine what your mom was going through when she heard the news. I’m anxious to hear more about your journey and your amazing family.
Thanks so much Heather! My mom was quite the journaler during all of this. Maybe I can convince her to post on here once in a while 😉 I’ll see what I can do.
Those three words, “Life after cancer” are by themselves very powerful. I look forward to learning more about the challenges you overcame.
Thanks Tim! Every day I feel like I’m learning something new about what it means to live “life after cancer.” So often people think it’s over after you’re “cured.” But it’s not like you’re over a flu and back to life as usual. Thanks for your support.
Son,you are my miracle. You have shown me how to keep fighting for the good, to never give up..and find the good in every day.You have taught me to be thankful for the little things in life…and grateful for the times we learn to listen to our heart….and each others. We are truly blessed by Gods grace….I love you so much.
🙂 Love you too ma!